I read an essay by a schoolmate of mine on her blog the other day. It was a spectacular read as always. It was chock full of poignant meanings, faith, and hope. Her style is deep and purposeful, as opposed to my as shallow as a kiddie pool prose. The piece was about her “word of the year” which is “Joy”. She’s a gifted writer and diligent at the craft. Facing cancer like a warrior, her work is always nothing but inspirational. This time she hooked me in the first paragraph when she wrote:
I couldn’t write about it in January. I tried a time or two in February, but here it is now past the middle of March, and I am still struggling to get this post out there.
I get you, Jody.
I don’t know how many people her words resonated with, but she had me nodding my head right out of the gate. Writing isn’t always the easiest thing to do, not for me. I’d estimate, all in, a semi-solid 1200-word essay takes me about 8 hours. Some of those hours are sheer delight when I get lost “in the zone”. It’s just like that magical round of golf you played when your swing was pure each time, your approach shots were fire, and all the putts dropped. It’s that game of tennis when your backhand was thoughtless and effortless, yet precise. I’m certain every player in every sport knows how good it feels to be “in the zone”. I’m 99% certain there’s a book about it.
Side note: I once went 36-54 on a local public course, it was so sad, even my golfing buddies couldn’t make fun of me. The zone is a fickle mystical bitch.
Writing is much worse than that.
Writing takes many more things to come together. I have to be happy to write, then I need a dash of inspiration, a pinch of courage to “put myself out there”, the time to do it, and I need a “point”. Reading it like that, it doesn’t seem like much, but those stars don’t align as often as I’d like. I try to force it sometimes, but it’s not a joy, when not in the zone. However, I will let you know that the phrase “fake it, ‘til you make it” is frequently worth the shot.
Lest I forget to mention, “edit” is a four-letter word. That’s where most of the time and effort come in. I do most myself with grammar and structure. I write, then rewrite, cut & paste, move sentences and whole paragraphs around where I think they’ll work best. Sometimes I delete hundreds of words. Off to the literary trash heap of history they go, never to be read.
I also have a few, brave, volunteer editors that’ll take up the charge and shoot the piece I’ve labored on for hours full of holes like Gary Gilmore. One guy absolutely slayed what I thought was one of my better works. If he had edited with a red pen like in high school, it would have had more blood than a Tarantino film. In the end, the piece was one of the best received ever.
I don’t always use the outside help because I don’t want to impose. It’s a feeling like I’m asking someone to borrow a truck to move something. I don’t like it. If you’d like to volunteer, let me know, I won’t feel so bad if I mix it up. So, if you’re feeling ruthless and critical, and feel you would like to massacre my manuscripts, drop me a note, and I’ll use your brain for free. I could use the help.
I used to attend a “writer’s club” once a month but gave up for one self-rationalized reason or another. I promised myself I’d keep writing, and I do, though I haven’t published much. My personal writing goal ths year is a milquetoast monthly essay on this blog. Although I haven’t “published” here, I have been quite prolific working on a larger, longer-term project. I’m not certain where that will go, because my hard drive is a graveyard of just started and half-done essays. There are even a few “complete works” languishing on my hard drive library of limbo for some reason.
I was ahead of the game in January with two entries, a solid piece about an old friend that passed on, then a tribute to my abnormal annual over-celebration of Groundhog Day. Because I wanted the post to be “live” when my furry friend arose from his lodge, I published it at the end of January. I whiffed in February, and March is going out like a lightning-struck lamb. In order to save the year’s goal, I’ll have to adjust it to an “average” of one post per month! This is what we euphemistically call “pivoting”.
Pivoting is easier on the soul than “failing”.
Spring is here and I’m now out and about a bit more. I’m seeing and socializing more which feeds the inspirations. Although I’d like to explore it more, I haven’t ever thought of myself as a pure “fictionalist”, although I do nibble a bit on that catnip when I step along the keyboard in Moo’s shoes. There are a number of Moo view writings on my hard drive that I know I need to get to.
A note to you guys that see me and ask: “When are you going to write something”.
Thank you. – I need that kick in the ass.
I don’t have many writer “friends” in the world, but I see a few of you working. I notice you stretching out social media posts a few sentences. I read your paragraphs. Keep up the good work, I think we’re on to something.
0 Comments